Best Worst Day

We each have defining moments in our lives, sometimes for us as individuals and sometimes for us as a nation or even as humanity. Many (if not most) of these defining moments are born out of negative or even tragic circumstance.

The concept that I’ve been discussing with many around me for many years is what I refer to as my “Best Worst Day,” or BWD. Or more descriptively stated as a terrible day (often incomprehensibly bad) that had to happen in order for something positive (often incomprehensibly great) to follow.

First, let me say that I don’t want to make light of anyone’s tragedy or downplay the pain that is suffered for each of us at different levels and in different ways. The death and tragedy of 9/11 left a lot of people with a lot of long-standing and incurable pain. However, I believe that we are built as humans with the capacity to not only deal with challenge and pain, but to find ways to leverage circumstance to continue to advance our species in ways that living on our normal day, we are just simply not capable of.

The best example of my BWD in my own life is the day I got divorced. Allison and I had been separated for over 2 years, we still knew that we loved each other, but quite frankly, just couldn’t figure out how to come back together in marriage. Fast forward to today, now 11 years later and I can promise you that she and I have a better marriage than most could understand possible; we definitely didn’t understand in our first years.

Yes – divorced each other, worked through things both as individuals and as a couple, remarried 4 years after divorce, and now extremely happily married to each other for almost 7 years. Those close to us know that there is a lot more to the story, but suffice it to say, those closest to us also realize what a unique and special marriage we do live within.

The point is we would not have the amazing marriage that we have today if we didn’t experience and deal with the challenge of divorce. I am not proposing that divorce and remarriage is what others need to do or what is a prerequisite for an amazing marriage. I am proposing that, in our particular circumstance, our absolute worst day in our marriage is yielding a lifetime of days that we didn’t understand were even possible prior to that worst day.

We are not stopping there either. We are actively counseling other couples in our church (and beyond) through their marriage difficulties. We have become intentional about structure that was not previously in place that helps us continue to experience the fullness of our marriage now. We have developed a family mission that provides us with focus and resolve for not only our family but also our marriage in time of difficulty. We are taking on challenges within our family and our marriage head-on.

I share these thoughts now because I feel like humanity is in one of those times where these thoughts may serve as a positive reminder. We will persevere, we will rise and we will figure out a way to make society better and humanity better for having dealt with the days that we are experiencing now.

If you want to process any thoughts, I’m here. If you want to find a way for you to rise better, I’m definitely here. Email me at chris@sherpacollab.com